Freedom In Christ!

Luke Ford writes:

My favorite goy, Greg Leake, emails: “I thank G-d that my mother was not Jewish, and also for Jesus bin Joseph. Otherwise I probably would have fallen heir to all of these obligations and responsibilities and would have been a considerably less free human being.”

This got me to thinking about freedom in Judaism and Christianity. I spent my first 18 years as a Christian and my last 20 in Jewish life.

Here are some examples of Christian freedom in order of importance:

* You can have sex with your wife when she’s menstruating
* You can study Torah while doing your business on the toilet
* You can eat shellfish and pigs and anything you want any time you want any way you want with whomever you want wherever you want
* You can eat and defecate at the same time just like an animal
* You can wear anything you want (within the generous standards of Christian modesty)
* You don’t have to fear about your Heavenly Salvation
* You can rape and murder people and then get immediate forgiveness from Jesus
* You don’t have to study, you can just believe
* You can use French ticklers (if you are a Protestant)

Here are some examples of Jewish freedom in order of importance:

* You don’t have your co-religionists forgive your boneheaded behavior by saying, “You did what was in your heart.”

* You don’t have your co-religionists say, “Are you saved?”

New York, New York

Luke Ford writes:

I take melatonin every night to sleep.

One of its side effects is lurid dreams, which are quite disturbing for a man of piety.

I’m having a lot of dreams of late about visiting New York.

I see myself walking up long stairwells to visit someone’s apartment. I see myself going to shul. I see myself pushing my way through crowded streets. I see myself hanging out with great writers and providing Daphne Merkin the solace that no therapist can legally provide.

Empathy, Shame & Therapy

Luke Ford writes:

Throughout my life, I’ve had my narcissism interrupted by tides of empathy. I would suddenly see things as they really were for those around me and I would see how I was doing things that were unnecessarily hurting others and myself, I would see how in some ways I had been heading down a wrong path for days or weeks or months or years. I would get these lightning flashes of clarity. They were a combination of feelings and thoughts and they left me quite ashamed.

When I would feel things as others felt them when they experienced my behavior and my words, I’d feel horrible. I’d feel ashamed. I’d determine to change my ways and sometimes I did change and did the hard work to make myself a better person. But I hated those bouts of shame. I hated them so much that I held myself away from empathizing too much and just told myself to keep my eye on the prize of accomplishment and to hunker down and to keep pushing myself forward.

Empathy and shame. They’ve run together for me much of my life.

Bariatric Surgery & Therapy

Beverly Hills therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

In a rush to get things done, in a rush to get things beautiful, in a rush to get things thin, in a city where most people know it as a laid-back non-judgmental place, Los Angeles is the greatest judgment capitol in the world. We judge age, weight, body form, and we alter it to play a part. We don’t want to naturally age.

What most people have a hard time with is what happens afterwards. It’s not the surgery per se. It’s not that they are getting thin. It is that what was their closest friend, the food, is now no longer there. Often people experience depression, anxiety attacks, and loneliness. Far too few doctors share with their patients ahead of time the psychological symptoms they may experience after the surgery.

There is a huge amount of cross-addiction. Just because someone is no longer compulsively over-eating does not make that person any healthier emotionally. Often one will take on another addiction in its place.

Only In Bel Air

Beverly Hills therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

I received a telephone call from a celebrity who got my phone number off of a website.

She called me directly and was telling me about how she had broken her sobriety after ten years of being sober. She was putting her children through graduate school at elite universities and how dare they come to her house – after her ten day binge — and search for bottles of booze and break them. And how she was running like a crazy woman trying to down as much booze as she could while they were breaking the bottles. And she hadn’t been able to show up to the set. And the producers had warned her and warned her. The day she finally felt like she could get there, her luxury car broke down and she couldn’t get to the set.

She started crying on the phone. She said, “What’s become of me? I can’t believe this has happened to me.”

She wanted to remind me how much money she had. She said, “I live in Bel Air! And I have a Mercedes. And people have been stealing things from me. It’s only jewelry but I can’t figure out what’s missing. I’ve lost my mind. I’ve been in rehab before. I’ve been in hospital before. I have such shame and guilt. I can’t believe I let this happen again. I have so much stress. Will you see me? Have you worked with people who’ve gotten off the wagon?”

Women Restructuring Middle Age III

Beverly Hills therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

Many women when they get to middle age (45-50) find themselves fired from jobs they’ve held for a long time.

Women Restructuring Middle Age II

Beverly Hills therapist Donna Burstyn blogs:

Many women when they get to middle age (45-50) find themselves fired from jobs they’ve held for a long time.